This week has been crazy. 1st thing I'm doing is finishing up Driver's Ed. I had it for 2 weeks, that's why I wasn't around for that time. I passed with an average of an 80. I was impressed with myself. Now, I'm doing the driving part and my teacher is saying she's impressed and stuff. My partner I'm driving with... he almost killed me! He was in the car like 5 mins and he pulled out in front of someone and we almost got hit by the side. Whew. Only 2 more days and I'm done with that.
Nick came over Wednesday. Of course ya'll know the deal. We had to do it on the sneak tip, but it's all good. Literally. It's ALL good. lol. I love yah big head, Nick! (I doubt he'll ever come across this, but just in case.)
I haven't talked to Kadarrius. And I really don't care. I was sitting down thinking today, it's time to really let go. My heart, mind and soul have decided it's time to move on, but that small little amount of faith still wants to hold on and I'm through, I can't do it. Why have someone in your life, yeah, that you care about, but they bring nothing but complications and pain to your life? You know deep down inside they are lying to you, even though they claim they love you and are doing right by you, but you KNOW they are doing you wrong. Why would you even want them still in your life? I don't know. I guess it's because we've been through so much. But, why is he the ONLY guy I've ever felt like this way for? Other guys I would have done let go, but him it's like I still want to hear everything he has to say, even though I know he's lying to me. But, I've made up my mind tonight... I'm through. There's no turning back... it's time to let Kadarrius go his way and I go mine and if we meet back up, then so be it... but as of right now, I can't have him in my life always bringing me down. I know Nick's not my man and he's just a friend thing, but if I'm comfortable with that, then so be it... it's how I feel and I feel good with my life right now and I'm moving on. I have no time for a man right now, I barely have enough time for myself, where could I possibly get time to have a new relationship? Hellllllllllllllllllll no.
Anyways... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OIAM.NET Go show mah pimp some love!
Butta <3's Radiance and FlyChica BUTTA bytched @ 12:00 AM
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Aight, I just got home from school.
First of all, Kadarrius is on some dumb shyt. We were together got a good minute and now that we're broken up and I'm actually standing ground for my feelings and the way I approach things he can't handle it. He's so fucking disrespectful, and what hurts still to this day is, if the motha fucca could love me enough to put a ring on my finger, propose to me and have the scare that I could have been carrying his child, but now it's okay to treat me like I'm a fucking bitch and that I have no feelings at all? Why do I keep him in my life? I'm having too much fun with my homegirls and kicking it with Nick but, I still have Kadarrius... just... there. When I know this fool is doing me wrong, I still keep him right there. Why is all I ask myself? I have so much going for me in life and so many more guys that I talk to, why's he the #1? He always wants to argue over the smallest shyt and then flip it on me like it's my fault. And he says I'm trippin... get this... he calls every night to talk, but recently he's been saying he wants to work things out and say forget the past and do what's right for us. Okay, fine. I took it into consideration, but I wasn't about to just jump right back into something that I knew was bound for failure, so I wanted to see if his ass would work a little to be with me. Then Saturday night I call him and he's at the club? What the fuck? Don't be trying to be back with me and say we're going to take things real slow but we're basically together and then go to a damn club. Then he wanted to be on this trip shit of "Oh yeah Cayla, it's always YOU can do this but I can't." No motha fucka that's not it... I can do what the fuck I want because YOU broke up with me, and it's YOU who wants me back in a relationship. So YOU should be the one trying to prove yourself to me. Then because I say something he don't like, he's like "fuck it, there's not going to be a me and you anymore, fuck you!" and hangs up the phone. Disrespectful mother fucka. Always wanna be on some childish shit, but claims he's a man and true to his word. Kadarrius if you read this... YES, I FUCKED NICK. Happy now? Argh, bitch ass mother fucker.
Moving right along to my lovely commentors. I love ya'll! **smiles**
FlyChica, Latorria, Jade BUTTA bytched @ 9:04 PM
First of all, Kadarrius is on some dumb shyt. We were together got a good minute and now that we're broken up and I'm actually standing ground for my feelings and the way I approach things he can't handle it. He's so fucking disrespectful, and what hurts still to this day is, if the motha fucca could love me enough to put a ring on my finger, propose to me and have the scare that I could have been carrying his child, but now it's okay to treat me like I'm a fucking bitch and that I have no feelings at all? Why do I keep him in my life? I'm having too much fun with my homegirls and kicking it with Nick but, I still have Kadarrius... just... there. When I know this fool is doing me wrong, I still keep him right there. Why is all I ask myself? I have so much going for me in life and so many more guys that I talk to, why's he the #1? He always wants to argue over the smallest shyt and then flip it on me like it's my fault. And he says I'm trippin... get this... he calls every night to talk, but recently he's been saying he wants to work things out and say forget the past and do what's right for us. Okay, fine. I took it into consideration, but I wasn't about to just jump right back into something that I knew was bound for failure, so I wanted to see if his ass would work a little to be with me. Then Saturday night I call him and he's at the club? What the fuck? Don't be trying to be back with me and say we're going to take things real slow but we're basically together and then go to a damn club. Then he wanted to be on this trip shit of "Oh yeah Cayla, it's always YOU can do this but I can't." No motha fucka that's not it... I can do what the fuck I want because YOU broke up with me, and it's YOU who wants me back in a relationship. So YOU should be the one trying to prove yourself to me. Then because I say something he don't like, he's like "fuck it, there's not going to be a me and you anymore, fuck you!" and hangs up the phone. Disrespectful mother fucka. Always wanna be on some childish shit, but claims he's a man and true to his word. Kadarrius if you read this... YES, I FUCKED NICK. Happy now? Argh, bitch ass mother fucker.
Moving right along to my lovely commentors. I love ya'll! **smiles**
FlyChica, Latorria, Jade BUTTA bytched @ 9:04 PM
Sunday, April 04, 2004
*EDIT* DID YALL SEE USHER ON PUNK'D??????? DAMNNNNNNNNN SEXY ASS. USHER CUSSIN??? THAT SHYT WAS SEXY. LMAO Okay I'm really going to sleep!
NEW LAYOUT!! lol. Finally... I don't like it as much as I used to, so I think it will be coming down soon. Who knows? And plus I think the song Tip Drill that's playin' fucks up for like 2 seconds in the middle of it. But ya'll will be aight.
Okay... well lol. Me and D'Angelo are no longer talking. That's the end of the D'Angelo, Bonnie and Clyde story... but me and my homegirls was wilin' the fucc out last night. 4 white girls in 1 car going to A&T talkin' shyt to all these dudes. We pulled up in the basketball courts and got these guys talking to us FOREVER and they called their homeboiis and got them to get dressed for us to go back to their room, and he got in his car and told us to follow him and we said ok... lmao did we follow him? Hell no! We turned the other way and talked to some more guys. We was actin' a damn fool last night. Then we left Greensboro to go to High Point at like 2:00 to stay with my homegirl Julie... and she ain't have no toothpaste so we had to go to Wal-Mart at like 3:00 for some toothpaste. lol. There's always something weird going on when I go out.
Anyways... this time change is really getting to me so i'm about to talk to Weezy and go to sleep. I'll holla tomorrow! BUTTA bytched @ 11:14 PM
NEW LAYOUT!! lol. Finally... I don't like it as much as I used to, so I think it will be coming down soon. Who knows? And plus I think the song Tip Drill that's playin' fucks up for like 2 seconds in the middle of it. But ya'll will be aight.
Okay... well lol. Me and D'Angelo are no longer talking. That's the end of the D'Angelo, Bonnie and Clyde story... but me and my homegirls was wilin' the fucc out last night. 4 white girls in 1 car going to A&T talkin' shyt to all these dudes. We pulled up in the basketball courts and got these guys talking to us FOREVER and they called their homeboiis and got them to get dressed for us to go back to their room, and he got in his car and told us to follow him and we said ok... lmao did we follow him? Hell no! We turned the other way and talked to some more guys. We was actin' a damn fool last night. Then we left Greensboro to go to High Point at like 2:00 to stay with my homegirl Julie... and she ain't have no toothpaste so we had to go to Wal-Mart at like 3:00 for some toothpaste. lol. There's always something weird going on when I go out.
Anyways... this time change is really getting to me so i'm about to talk to Weezy and go to sleep. I'll holla tomorrow! BUTTA bytched @ 11:14 PM
