*Gasps* Latorria... I blogged! lol.

Wow... ya'll I have so much to tell in not enough time. Let's start with the least important...

Kadarrius... I love him, but he's not ready to be a man. He's lying to me. I just wish he could tell me the truth, and even thou the truth hurts, I'd have an easier time actually hearing him confess to what I already know. I found some emails from this girl named Latasha and well she's claiming she loves him and blah blah blah. Okay, she said "I can't wait to share these moments in real life..." but I confronted KD about it and he said they met in person because she's engaged and her dad is going to the Air Force so he was talking to him about it and that he went over to her house to talk to her dad. Likely story, but if she's saying she wants to have time face to face... um then no you haven't went to her house to talk to her dad. I swear he's such a believable liar, but sorry, I'm not believing him this time... or the past few times he's continued to lie. He'll come to his senses one day and that's the day I won't be so gullible and naive to have any feelings. I'm putting a barrier up from here on out to him. I love him, but I'm not in love with him... there's much of a difference. You can always love someone even if you're out creepin' or do whatever you do on the side... but love doesn't necessarily mean when you love someone you have to be with them.

Okay... now I met this guy named Weezy. lol... (Steven) the other night. He's mad cute, but he told me he didn't have a girlfriend and he said that I was fine or what not and he had to get my number. Okay... that's straight, I've heard it all before but I was going to give him a try... hey, I'm single I can do what I want. But yeah, well we talked after I left his homeboii's house with my homegirl's and me and him talked on the phone for a while. Then I told him I had to go and he told me to call him back in an hour... so I DIDN'T. I made sure it was 2 hours. *Note to ladies* Never let a male think he has you where he wants you and never let them know he's the only one you're messing with or he'll see you as just another chick. Make them WORK to be in your life... we're ladies, we deserve respect. So, my homegirl called him because she's talking to his brother... but some girl answered claiming it was his (Weezy's) girlfriend. So whatever. Then he called me yesterday saying that girl was some "psycho bitch" hahaha right, but she was at your house, answering your phone? Play me better. Anyways moving right along...

Last night... I kicked it with my boii D'Angelo. Yeah, I got some pictures of him, but his pictures do him no glory as seeing him in person. So, I might post them or not. But last night was some shyt... he came from Durham with his homeboii Rico so he could meet my homegirl Cherri. Okay, we'll all posted up, you know sittin' on 20's. (Felt kinna good finally not sitting in something that's 10+ years old lmao) Anyways... we decided to go park up at my school and just kick it. So, me and D'Angelo got out the truck and started walking and to make a long story short... we were "talking" and then we saw the blue lights and me and him took off running. I busted my ass, got mud all over my Iverson's, my jeans and my Sean John coat. D'Angelo kept running. (I was pissed but I let that shyt go) Like 30 minutes later I finally met back up with Cherri and Rico in Rico's truck but D'Angelo wasn't with them. So, we called him and told him to come to the main road... he never came. We called him back and he informs us the Fed's got him. We roll over to where he was... ah, and D'Angelo tried to keep my name out of it and told the cop that it was only Cherri, Rico and him in the truck... then the cop sees me and all our shyt was busted. The cop had already gotten Cherri and Rico's information and then he got mine and D'Angelo's... but he let us go on a warning. So, we got lucky as fucc. Plus, the mutha fucca's tell me while the cops in his car doing a background check and seeing if we have any warrants that there's a gun in the truck and weed. I was like... "oh great..." If he would have searched that car... Cayla woulda had the black come out in her and take the fuck off. lmao. Ya'll know that's no offense. Whew... last night was crazy. I'll post some pictures of D... yeah, and I'm thinking that I'm going to keep that as a potential boyfriend. He's the only one that's been keeping shyt real with me... and hell we done did the Hov and Beyonce, "Bonnie and Clyde" shyt from running from the cops together. lmao!

I know that's a long blog. I'm going out tonight. (SAFELY... I ain't doing a damn thing wrong tonight. lmao) So, when I get home I'll put up the Nelly layout... unless I want a different one.

Thanks for commenting... lemme give some plugs.

K-Luh <3's - Jade, Day, Latorria, Ebony, Exhale, Robyn.

BUTTA bytched @ 3:45 PM

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Okay... so I lied about the layout being up. I've had a lot to do lately. I've got to bring my grades up majorly so colleges will actually be astonished how my grades have improved since my freshman year.

I had a lot of fun this weekend. I was just wilin' out with my homegirls. I saw Nick again. (mah cutt) *smiles* It was straight. Part of me is wanting the fullfillment of a relationship again but the other part doesn't want to let my "potential futures" go. Ah, I know it's late but Spring Break is April 9-19 so I can't wait. Kadarrius is supposed to be coming back up here from Texas to spend it with me... so we'll see what happens. I know we've been through alot and there's shyt I don't agree with, but all I can say is we can work on things, evolve a friendship then if things pursue further, then so be it, it was meant to be like that. D'Angelo... someone I've been talking to for a while, wants to go to the beach with me during Spring Break... so I don't know. Whatever happens, happens, I can't change how the script goes.

ANYWAYS... feel this...

Have you ever had someone just come into your life and make you just forget about all your exes and those few you thought you did love... he just makes you feel like even the ones you felt in "love" with didn't even exist? Love makes you do some crazy things and blind you to things you could see if you weren't so "crazy in love." People come and people go, some make scars, some don't even make an impact, but we always remember the memories.

I love KD (Kadarrius) a lot, we've been talking again lately and I'm to the point of where, I trust him... partially. It's going to take a long time to earn my full trust, but he has some and I just don't even care about those chicks. Part of me believes what they said, but another part of me is mad for being so gullable to chick's that just came to me and said shit to me about my fiancee. Even though I found some shit out... the things I've brought to Kadarrius' attention, he has admitted to and explained the story, but he promises me that he never once cheated on me in any way or any form. So, part of me believes him and we've agreed to take things slowly. I feel sort of bad, because he doesn't know about Nick. (Choppin' it with) Well, he knows, but I lied and said nothing happened like that with Nick. I know I should never tell him the truth because it'll ruin his trust in me he's slowly rebuilding and it'll burn him... but I have a heart and I have a conscience so I feel a little bad for lying to someone I do love and care strongly about.

BUTTA bytched @ 11:09 PM