"... love never felt so cold..."

i love kadarrius so much but i cant continue to go through it with him... this song makes me cry, it makes me think about him so much but there's no use in crying over something that won't get better. crying helps, but mourning over what happened isn't going to change the future. time has to come into play and there's nothing i can do to change his mind and theres nothing he can do to change my mind...

anyways...

its like all these guys are tyring to get with me now and i just cant do it, i have no more faith or trust left for another relationship... so many guys are wanting to talk to me and i admit i do that, even though it hurts to even think about kadarrius talking to another female. but i know i won't do nothing crazy... at least not right now. i feel like im failing at everything. every relationship i feel that actually might last and get somewhere always fails through. sometimes i feel like life isnt nothing but pain and thats what its supposed to be. break ups hurt, u have ur ups and downs, but in the end u will see why things fell into the places they did and why what happened, happened. u eventually get over things and it makes u stronger for the next phase in your life... but i will get through this. wut kills u makes u stronger and wut makes u hurt only helps u get over it.

"... we're so much better off... separated..."

BUTTA bytched @ 3:31 PM

Monday, February 23, 2004

... not really much to update. Sorry it's been so long... I've been going through some things... me and my fiancee broke up, and as far as I can tell, we're not getting back together... never.

I'll manage... I'm trying, it hurts so bad, but I'm doing what I got to do.

In the mean time ya'll listen to this song... Usher do his thing. And you can feel me if you ever been in a relationship where you loved the person so much... and can relate to this song.

I'm out... holla.

BUTTA bytched @ 6:31 PM