Anyways... there's been things going on with me and KD (Kadarrius) that I really can't blog about but he's found out some things that I haven't told him and all and he's kind of upset. I understand why, but he's told me some PERSONAL shyt that's in his past and I ain't even trip, where most females woulda left their man. I just told him I felt like I really ain't know him, not meanin like I didn't know him at all, but like I didn't know each side of him equally. And I wish he would have told me that shyt in the beginning. So he apologizes or whatever and we've had like a good week without arguing then some shyt goes down with my old homeboys and Brian talks to KD on the computer last night. (Brian's mad cool) But he tells KD innocently shyt I've done in my past when I used to kick it with them. And that shyt's PERSONAL... it's hard to bring shyt up when that shyt you did isn't ANY part of who you are today. It's hard... especially for females to bring past shyt up and explain how it hurt or what they went through. I love Kadarrius to death but sometimes I just don't understand him. He used to cry over me... and cry over things that didn't even mean a lot to me. Like he used to felt like he did something wrong and he'd cry and apologize to me. Now we were just talking on the phone and he was like "I'll call you back later" and I'm like wtf? and he's all like "It's nothing to do with you..." and I started feeling tears forming because I felt it was about the whole Brian telling him shyt about me that he ain't know about yet. Then he's like, "I love you, baby" and I'm like "yeah -chokes up- I love you too" and he's like, "you better not be crying" and I started laughing a little and was like "naw, I'm trying not to..." and he was like "Cayla I told you it has nothing to do with you, my necks starting to hurt and I just don't feel like talking right now" and I was quiet and was like ... "baby, i'm sorry" and he's like "You haven't done anything Cayla... It has nothing to do with you, if you start crying, I'm not going to call you back. I hate it when you get emotional about shit, you get crunk when you feel like you've been done wrong but you cry when you feel like someone's against you or something. It has nothing to do with you" and I'm just like "ok" and we say our I love you's and byes and he's all like "you better not cry now or when we get off this phone." Maybe ya'll see what's up because I really don't. It's like he's turned all hard on me. I understand he doesn't want me to cry, but saying he's not going to call me back if I start to cry isn't going to make me feel much better. He's just so confusing to me at times... -huffs-
Anyways... I'll blog later... BUTTA bytched @ 6:03 PM
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Okay... so we're still outta school and there's no school tomorrow... wow, almost a week off from school. Watch us have to go Friday... then I'll be mad.
I'm just sittin' here talkin to Rachel and Tash. Both havin' men problems... Rachel... I know what I said is hard to do but you can't let a guy get you wrapped up inside where you lose insight. He cares, but he's a guy, give him some time and he'll come to you when he's ready. Tash... I came at you real girl, but if that's what you wanna do then do it. But he's got a girl... hmm, look at all angles, ma. I mean, maybe he's mad cool, so I'm not knockin' any of it... but niggas will turn mad crazy over the coochie. They know how to spit mad game when it comes to gettin' some... but that's when you flip it up on him and play the game back on him. Not saying playin' games is the way to do it, but girl... me and Rachel told you the best thing. "FIND MY G-SPOT DAMNIT!!! YOU HAVEN'T BEEN INTRODUCED TO EM, SO FIND IT!!!" lmao. No knockin' ya hustle, but if you think he's really down for you and you're gon be his homegirl through every up and down... do ya thing, but if you got feelin's he'll drop you right quick... drop him before he drops you or you'll be the one cryin' over what you did and what he did. Like I said, keep yah eyes peeled.
Anyways...
I was talkin to my man earlier and we were just trippin' out. I only wish shyt can continue to be like this. We've been getting along too damn well for shyt to fall through anymore. Our attitudes have got to go though, they mad crazy combined together. Ya'll check my nigga out... his little sexy ass...
I got so much love built up inside for that man... it's just crazy... he came into my life when I was through with relationships and we've been through so much... but it's weird how someone can come along and just touch you and change you in so many ways. Kadarrius, if you read this, I love you, baby! P.S. It's better in the kitchen w/ peaches and kreme. haha. *smiles*
All of you who commented here's some plugs...
Tooney & Betty
BUTTA bytched @ 6:45 PM
I'm just sittin' here talkin to Rachel and Tash. Both havin' men problems... Rachel... I know what I said is hard to do but you can't let a guy get you wrapped up inside where you lose insight. He cares, but he's a guy, give him some time and he'll come to you when he's ready. Tash... I came at you real girl, but if that's what you wanna do then do it. But he's got a girl... hmm, look at all angles, ma. I mean, maybe he's mad cool, so I'm not knockin' any of it... but niggas will turn mad crazy over the coochie. They know how to spit mad game when it comes to gettin' some... but that's when you flip it up on him and play the game back on him. Not saying playin' games is the way to do it, but girl... me and Rachel told you the best thing. "FIND MY G-SPOT DAMNIT!!! YOU HAVEN'T BEEN INTRODUCED TO EM, SO FIND IT!!!" lmao. No knockin' ya hustle, but if you think he's really down for you and you're gon be his homegirl through every up and down... do ya thing, but if you got feelin's he'll drop you right quick... drop him before he drops you or you'll be the one cryin' over what you did and what he did. Like I said, keep yah eyes peeled.
Anyways...
I was talkin to my man earlier and we were just trippin' out. I only wish shyt can continue to be like this. We've been getting along too damn well for shyt to fall through anymore. Our attitudes have got to go though, they mad crazy combined together. Ya'll check my nigga out... his little sexy ass...
I got so much love built up inside for that man... it's just crazy... he came into my life when I was through with relationships and we've been through so much... but it's weird how someone can come along and just touch you and change you in so many ways. Kadarrius, if you read this, I love you, baby! P.S. It's better in the kitchen w/ peaches and kreme. haha. *smiles*
All of you who commented here's some plugs...
Tooney & Betty
BUTTA bytched @ 6:45 PM
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Just sittin' up in the HOUSE AGAIN for all this damn snow. I love it tho... no school... and I can sit on my ass and chill all damn day, yah, fun but I can't get out the driveway so =(.
I have another "personal" site over at Shari's domain... So Necessary. And they all know about me or whatever. So just to let yall in on some things... yeah me and my man are engaged. We met up here when he was @ A&T in Greensboro, NC... but he really lives in TX so, yeah kinna sucks but he came up here for Christmas all the way until January 8. We had a lot of fun, but he's about to come back up here, live with me for a month, then go for Basic Training in Fayetteville, NC, to be right here with me. Fayetteville's like 3 hours from here, but it's better than some damn 17 hours from me. But while he was up here he proposed so yeah, a bytch in love. My mom's all happy for us and shyt and if a guy even calls the house for me she's all like, "Cayla you're not messin' anything up that you have with Kadarrius" as if I would actually want to? Hell no. Sometimes this nigga gets under my skin, but hey what male doesn't? He's down for me though and that's all that matters. He's in love with me, not for what I can give or to have me on his arm like the rest of them lame ass fools I was with in the past. 17 and in love... people must think I'm crazy, but hell, I've been through more in these 17 years than most 40 year olds. MANY, MANY, MANY failed relationships to finally find the right one and I truly believe he's the one. And as long as we know what we got... nobody else matters. So to all the haters me and Kadarrius have... fuck what ya heard!
TOONEY...
Now girl as for you and Jazz... I feel for what you're going through with that boii. Lord knows have MANY females been in your situation with a guy. But if you feel you can continue to do what you do with him and accept how ya'll are on the DL then so be it. I ain't knockin' any of ya game, but I also know from experience, most of these "relationships" only end up for YOU to be hurt. Us females don't know how to not relay emotions after we lay down with someone, where guys only see it as gettin' some whenever it's convient for them and then they bounce... keep ya eyes peeled, ma. I ain't trying to see you hurt, so before you go 100% into all this... well, you've went 100% with it, but while it's still new, step back and look and see if this is truly what you want for yourself and make sure you're not only doin' this b/c the nigga got game or mad good looks. I ain't tryna have my homegirl hurt, you know I'm always here. Like I said, just keep ya eyes peeled. BUTTA bytched @ 2:11 PM
I have another "personal" site over at Shari's domain... So Necessary. And they all know about me or whatever. So just to let yall in on some things... yeah me and my man are engaged. We met up here when he was @ A&T in Greensboro, NC... but he really lives in TX so, yeah kinna sucks but he came up here for Christmas all the way until January 8. We had a lot of fun, but he's about to come back up here, live with me for a month, then go for Basic Training in Fayetteville, NC, to be right here with me. Fayetteville's like 3 hours from here, but it's better than some damn 17 hours from me. But while he was up here he proposed so yeah, a bytch in love. My mom's all happy for us and shyt and if a guy even calls the house for me she's all like, "Cayla you're not messin' anything up that you have with Kadarrius" as if I would actually want to? Hell no. Sometimes this nigga gets under my skin, but hey what male doesn't? He's down for me though and that's all that matters. He's in love with me, not for what I can give or to have me on his arm like the rest of them lame ass fools I was with in the past. 17 and in love... people must think I'm crazy, but hell, I've been through more in these 17 years than most 40 year olds. MANY, MANY, MANY failed relationships to finally find the right one and I truly believe he's the one. And as long as we know what we got... nobody else matters. So to all the haters me and Kadarrius have... fuck what ya heard!
TOONEY...
Now girl as for you and Jazz... I feel for what you're going through with that boii. Lord knows have MANY females been in your situation with a guy. But if you feel you can continue to do what you do with him and accept how ya'll are on the DL then so be it. I ain't knockin' any of ya game, but I also know from experience, most of these "relationships" only end up for YOU to be hurt. Us females don't know how to not relay emotions after we lay down with someone, where guys only see it as gettin' some whenever it's convient for them and then they bounce... keep ya eyes peeled, ma. I ain't trying to see you hurt, so before you go 100% into all this... well, you've went 100% with it, but while it's still new, step back and look and see if this is truly what you want for yourself and make sure you're not only doin' this b/c the nigga got game or mad good looks. I ain't tryna have my homegirl hurt, you know I'm always here. Like I said, just keep ya eyes peeled. BUTTA bytched @ 2:11 PM
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Gotta say a big thank you to Tweety for hosting me! *Muah* And a big thanks to mah homegirl Tash for helpin' with it all.
I've got a lot of things to do but so ya'll can know a little about me...
Alias by Butta Kreme, engaged... but going through some rough times right now... most of my blogs will involve Kadarrius, so get used to hearing about em.
I'll update more later, not feeling well right now. ~1. BUTTA bytched @ 5:12 PM
I've got a lot of things to do but so ya'll can know a little about me...
Alias by Butta Kreme, engaged... but going through some rough times right now... most of my blogs will involve Kadarrius, so get used to hearing about em.
I'll update more later, not feeling well right now. ~1. BUTTA bytched @ 5:12 PM
